How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back After You Broke Up With Him

If you have been through a messy break up and then decide that you want to get back together with your ex boyfriend you are in a difficult position. There is a high chance that your boyfriend will feel hurt and betrayed that you broke up with him and will not really trust your motives for wanting to rekindle the relationship.

It is only natural for your ex to wonder whether your motives are pure. Or whether you are simply “coming crawling back” because you didn’t like being single or because the guy you started dating after you broke up with him dumped you. This is a perfectly reasonable concern to have, and one that you will struggle to address.

Wanting What You Can’t Have

The best way to revive your relationship is to create a feeling of scarcity. It is normal to want what you can’t have, and it is normal to want to feel desired. Rather than pushing your ex boyfriend to take you back, make him want you back and be the one who is doing the pursuing. This is easier than you might think to achieve and it will help you to enjoy and rebuild your life at the same time so whether you are successful or not in getting your man back, you will end up happy.

Contact Helps

If your ex boyfriend has any feelings for you at all the those feelings will grow when you talk to each other. This is why so many dating advice sites tell people to go no contract after a break up. The less you see your ex the more quickly your feelings will fade. Of course this works better with people who have similar social circles, but staying in casual and friendly contact with your ex will benefit you. The point is to be happy, not bring up the old relationship and be positive when you are addressing them. Talk about new hobbies, share happy memories and do not burden them with your problems. You want your ex to be focused on the best parts of having a relationship with you.

Be Your Own Person

If you want to make sure that your ex sees you as desirable then you should build your own identity. Even if you are waiting by the phone for him to call it is important that he does not know that. Find new hobbies – one that gets you in great shape is a good start – and build a new supportive social circle. When your ex invites you to hang out, say yes sometimes but not every time. You do not want to appear dependent on him.

Avoid Old Patterns

Be mindful of the danger of falling back on old patterns of behavior. The last thing you want is to end up in the same bad relationship a second time around. Think about why you broke up with him and be on the lookout for the same arguments or negative traits. If you cheated on him, think about why, and make sure that you never do it again. Some couples can recover after a break up and get on really well but for others the experience is not so positive and they were better off apart. It takes a good degree of self awareness to be able to tell the difference and know whether a relationship is really going to be worth fighting for. Are you sure that you want to be back in that relationship for the rest of your life?